Turn

But then,

There's always a turn in life

It's not just any ordinary hope

Because hope might dry out

But there's a possibility where this turn might stay.

And if does,

You don't know how blessed this person can be.

Honestly,

My life isn't bad.

Not at all.

Seriously.

But all these people make me wonder

How worth I am actually

I'm not a "bad" person from the aspect of law

Yes.

I've never done anything against the law

But when you turn to the aspect of being a person

I have no idea how I really am

If you should define me as a good person

Or a bad one

A nice one

Or a bad-hearted one.

Who am I actually

But then,

There's this person

Who is a real blessing to me

I probably saved a country to deserve parents such as my dad and mom and basically the whole family.

Did it whole heartedly to deserve the friends I have.

Risked my life while doing so to deserve someone like you.

But I tend to doubt myself

And doubt you too.

And

I don't know why that happens

I have so much going on

But it's not much if you compared my thoughts to others.

All the 'buts' I have written

Show how much I contradict my own words

It makes me feel like I'm looking for pain when pain isn't there

But on the other hand,

The pain disappears when you're there

It banishes

Into thin air

I can't say that you make the pain go away

You easy it

Because making me let the pain go

Is probably better than making it banish

Because

I might wonder where the pain went one day later

And start wondering

Overthinking

And going back to square one

I find my writing really stupid

Like it makes no sense

But somehow

It does make sense to me

And these are all the things I have to say

For now

You're indifferent

You're you

You're my blessing.

Oh god

This is written so badly.

I could have been better.

I should stop.

But really,

It's a positive thing.

I don't know why it sounds just so serious

And dull

And forcefully written.

I need improvement